I shouldnt be writting...I am wayyyyy pissed but some say that this is a way of letting go of all feelings, soooo...I cant be in a bad mood forever...can I?
It seems that on this side of the island sleep depravation is a mode of living...Most of the people I know or work around arent able to indulge in of life's greates pleasures: sleep...I am very fond of it really, but lately is like an skill that you have to relearn...Or simply I get into the energizer bunny mode and simply cant stop doing things around...Which in the other hand is useless since one may fix things on one side and by the time I am ending everything is all messed up again..And the little times that I think everything seems to be ok, someone critic comes up pointing how bad everything is...For once could people simply FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFF?????????!!!!
If I wasnt doing anything at all I would understand it, but damn they have this art of fucking ones life in an instant...Just like the witch, her lair's life was really fucked up this week. I still cant understand why the hell????? I guess with her it applies the saying of "who loves you most will make you suffer" I just wish they would hate her more so she could have a little peace for once...I am sorry I cant be of much help, but it really sucks...
By the way Groundel I do miss hanging out with you..Hope you enjoyed the cheese cake and that for next year things may be brighter in your birthday!!!!!
Life is still in most aspects the same...The Dark Angel dreams of changing, but still flies around the same places and people..as always he is never here and if he is the gates of hell open to unleash all loose...Then the redemption...the imposed redemption..Someday I would have to decide which is worse or easier to handle; although time allows to accept and withstand anything...
May a change of winds finally come? Hard to say, sometimes it may seem they are gentle and sweet but others...
A few weeks ago I found a lost friend. I had forgotten all that we shared, how fun it was...how happy I used to feel..It has been a refreshing spirit that has brought a hint of joy..of possiblities forgotten...of dreams...It would be nice to have this ghost around, even if it is every now and then...The witch already posted her warning, which I accept and in some ways I will follow for she is right...But once she also said that I should pay with the same coin...It isnt my intention to seek something for revenge, but simply because it may lift my spirits and reclaim something I once had...Maybe it is a mistake, maybe it isnt what I hope, maybe its just a game,maybe its true...but how will I ever know??
Changes are like chances...they may happen once or never at all, it depends on us to embrace them and grow...
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2 comments:
Thanks for the support, it is deeply appreciated. :)
Now, about your stuff, someone deserves something, and it is refreshing to see you smiling and actually taking time for yourself...
Just keep things in perspective...
Pay with the same coin as long as there are no third parties who get hurt in the way. He may seem as the one with all answers, but he already has someone at home taking care of all his business... That is what I dislike of all this, in reality I don't see what's in for you... but his using you to further his goals... in business profits and everything else.
Unless I am wrong and a divorce is in sight, which I realy doubt from his side... And seems almost impossible from your side (although I keep candles lit for that)
Unless you just want the fun and none of the responsability, which will put you at the same level of your neatherthal... And is not right, not even for people who plays these games...
If you are a married LE, look for an unmarried goal, make certain he will be good for you, divorce and then go live with him or marry him...
But never mess with another woman's man...
You should never do what you would not want for yourself. Remember men tell lies all the time, and if things are not bad with his wife then WTF is he doing?
Keep the good friend, but somehow the flirting is out of place if you intend business matters... It ends up badly... Trust no one.
You are a big girl, entitled to make your choices... Just think hard before stepping into a mirage and falling through the Abyss... I can see what you like on the Riddler... seems as a knight in shining armor, someone who gives you all you wanted... Don't mix what you feel with what is happenning. Again, business and cordiality are one things... What may be in your head may be another... And if his wife may suffer, this is not paying with a same coin... Regret is the worst of punishments.
If I am completely wrong about this, ignore and go on... I just want you to be happy. Truly happy.
With MrNeatherthal at your side, you will never be as he is a rock tied up to your feet that wont let you extend wings to fly...
With The Riddler there is no future, just a beautiful past and maybe friendship. Unless he divorces, don't give wings to ideas that will only hurt you even more in the end...
Your best bet is to take off on your own... With the kids... A scary decision, but one you will come to embrace since it's your only way out... Honestly.
I'm here if you need me.
You wrote:
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Long lost
Sometimes something happens that makes you wonder why, how, when...things changed so much that you lost something in the way. But the wondering of all those questions is somehow useless since time moves on changing everything and everyone along the way. For some it may seem that lurking into the past may clarify what has happened or even heal some wounds, but... is it possible to heal? Wounds turn into scars that are reminders of what once was and no longer is...Everpresent, tangible reminders of the demons that we all carry and held in place...
The past is just the past, a beautiful memory of what was...No real thing can arise from a memory, only a dream of what was to fill an emotion lost in time...
...Just remember this...
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