Sharkboy is back in school..Still not at his best, he seems kind of lost and, in a way mad and tired...Hopefully things will improve, with that in mind I have started to search again in sites and groups for ideas. Doing this I came across an email of a mom from Arroyo whose son was recently dx with autism. She was desparate because as always the DE isnt providing the therapy services, the teacher is verbally abusing her and her son and the school wont provide her a new placement. I was outraged because no matter the laws nor the commitmment people still love to make hell in the lives of the parents of kids with disabilities. Out of the blue I decided to call her and give her a little advice so she could find a way...It felt good to talk to someone that is going through what I had to go through, one can realize that there are many out there fighting but..I could provide her with little hope of improvement. In a way I envied her because now she has more resources than what I had when my son was 4 years old, plus the fight is done with her family not with her family against her. Her son was dx 6 months ago and she already felt like she didnt existed since all her time is dedicated only to her child...In there I was of no help, I have buried myself for the last 7 years in the quest..Year after year I have left a new thing behind and given more time and attention to the quest...with little results..All I could say was that as long as realized it she will find a way and time to give to herself, her marriage and family...and I whished her good luck.

In a situation like this seems that we need all the luck of the world. Luck to find the right doc, teacher, school, neighborhood, medication, therapist plus more luck to find understanding,acceptance and less judgement...And be lucky enough to have the will to remember that one can do it, a day at a time..the anger and frustration are just passing emotions that we cant allow but regretably fill us from time to time. Many say that support is the answer but when close ones close their eyes, the so called support becomes a meaningless idea..Once someone told me that God gives special kids to special mothers...well He must think very highly of some of us...and we havent realized it yet.

Sometimes, I guess it takes time to accept and realize the things that happen to us...When one thought that something would never be yours or that you could never have it, then when it magically appears everchanging all that you had thought that was...It becomes your most guarded possesion, making you as happy as a small child on Christmas...And then you wonder would it last, this feeling, this thing? Or as time goes by the happiness of possesing that precious thing would fade as it is already yours? Our human nature allows us that typical reaction once we tasted something we might loose interest, because the mystery has been revealed...Other times it may not be so, since the feeling is so strong and pure that it would stay forever in your heart...But how can anyone know...In a way I wouldnt want to know, there are times were it is better to be able to feel and embrace the emotion before it is taken away...Like some say: it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all...