Raven's nest...

Still on the search for guidence...Sometimes I think I should only trust my instincts and forget about the rest..No doubts or questioning just the assurance of doing what comes right from within...But as many have stated I am not always right, I am naive and overtrusting...So I guess the root of self doubt will never leave...Forever question if what I have chosen is the right path....

On one side I have Sharkboy; seems that some things are falling into place at the school...Maybe a turn around for the best? I still question that what I have done is the best choice..Maybe I just have to accept that the real problem lies on me not on him..I have not been the best parent..I lack the best parenting skills to make the good in him surface...Maybe my inability to focus, organize, to follow trough, is what is needed to be taken out and provide him with more stability...Would he be better off without me? Often times I felt invisible, not playing an important role for all that I did never seemed to bring any rewards...I have not seen a real improvement in his life..we have been going around on circles..seeing the problems but never able to fix them...Plus I feel like I am falling apart...how can I help him if I cant even keep myself straight?...Having learned from his experience I know that using meds on and off without keeping it constant would do more damage than any actual good...Because the pace cant be kept up, and also one cant rely only on meds to be fully functional...It would be like a weakness...needing something from the outside to go by....when the strenght should come from within...
From within...and what if there is nothing? Yes I woke up today looking at gray skies instead of the beautiful radiant sun that its outside...My life woke up to the same...Just when you think you have a glimpse of hope...reality checks in, letting you know that dreams are only for fools...for fools in love...so the Witch can keep on her dreaming since her love levels surpass those of Cupid...At least I am happy because finally after all this time she is radiating with happiness and love.. Groundel...well maybe we are on the same ground, whishing things would be better but seeing no light in the tunel...Coriolis, well we arent actual friends but at least in his own way he entertains me with a life I will never know...Then Morfered...he always tries to keep the positive side up, reinforcing the happy, happy, joy, joy...but it cant always be so...only on fairytales the good overcomes evil..