Life is mainly about change. Since we are born we have to deal with our own physical changes plus those that happen around us. Add to that, emotions and ideas that keep coming and going, that influence our character and behavior. Constantly we have to keep on doing, analyzing in order to live and survive. There are times that a standstill is good in order to gather yourself together on keep on...Why am I going over this again? Simply because even if change is a constant in our lives, it shakes us up so strongly from time to time, that one has embrace it completely and morph into the best to keep on.
Six months ago I wasnt sure what to do.
Our society tells us that we have to educate our children until they are 5 years old and then the State or a private institution has to take over in their education. That I did, soon to discover that my eldest was in the autistic spectrum. Then as years pass you realize that not the State or private schools knew how to educate not only my child but any child in the spectrum. One had to fight for services, rigths, opportunities, anything as a matter of fact. Plus the educators had to be educated in what was the right thing to do with special child. Yet in doing what we are supposed to do you feel something is wrong. I questioned why did it had to be like that? But I had to work and I wasnt a teacher so...I kept him in the system. Until a so called educator, with a masters degree and in a process of a Doctors degree, emotionally and physically abused my son due to his syndrome. I had to take him out of school. I could have sued, yes, but that wouldnt have helped him in any way. I had to think only of what could help him inmediately and realistically. I realized that no matter what, we couldnt go back to the traditional school system. I had heard about homeschooling before, wasnt sure how it worked but it seemed to be the best option.
What I didnt knew is how difficult it would be for those around us to understand and welcome the idea. For many homeschoolers are rebels agaisnt the goverment, that live with their own laws...For others dropouts, that dont really do schoolwork..or simply geniuses that need info at high rates...I knew they were a minority, in that I could relate, since being a parent in the educational system seems to be like that: its one person fighting agaisnt their burocracy. At first there isnt too much info available but I started with info from support groups in the states, which lead me to organizations ( Tchers and Weavers) here in PR. Until today there are no laws that regulate homeschooling, yet. We still have freedom to do as we please, but most try to do the basic that is done in the USA: record keeping, schedules, tests etc.
The irony in this is that if non beleivers have a hard time accepting my choice, homeschoolers also have a problem with it. You see I HAVE to work, so how could I consider homeschooling if I am not home? It was impossible to do both things ( or so they beleive) Plus my child is special needs so I should meet with parents of kids like that...WHAT????? I couldnt beleive it...For me homeschooling was/is based in individualized learning, designing a curriculum having in mind the child. Then why would I need to design a PEI as if he was in the public system?? Why did he had to be treated differently?? It was depressing...sad...I felt very out of place, even thought that I had made yet, another mistake. But then I realized that I could careless what other people thought, I didnt need an approval of veteran homeschoolers...This is a personal decision that only I can make it work. As I kept reading their emails I realized that this journey will be successfull if we want it to be. Challenges will be everywhere but they will make the journey fun.
Then in the organizing of everything I had hard time with the record keeping of the log. And I remembered my blog. That thing that I didnt knew what to do with it, but that I could expand and use for anything!!! So changes to it started...Yes this would be our official log in our journey...Plus maybe Sharkboy would have one too, if we can finally work on his thinking processes he might be able to share his ideas in writting, cross your fingers!!
Everything seems to happen for a reason...I cant openly say that now I am sure that I know what I am doing but I feel confident that it is the right choice for him. And that at his own pace he will flourish and be all that he wasnt allowed to be.
Yes, some changes have been made...hopefully for the better.
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I don't understand the concept of looking for validation from people. If you have an idea, just go for it. In the end, it is NOT the people who live under your skin. And as you already know, people are an amorph mass that follow headless leaders as feebleminded lambs who care only for shelter, food, fun and what comes with it.
You have always been a fightress, and I have missed your true self for quite some years. It is refreshing to see that you were not buried, but lost in stasis. Once you were quite into being a feminist and were highly opinionated and unafraid. It's great to see you still have many fights in you.
Remember: No fear. Fear is the mind killer. And also remember that obedient, well behaved women never made it into history. When you have the truth on your side, the sky is the limit. Never doubt your capacity to handle anything. You are a very bright lady who is creative and who always look at the half-filled glass. Trust your instinct, never settle, never give up.
And if you think at some point that you are alone, look again. You are NEVER alone.
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