My hopes for an easy, smooth start for this semester have completely disappeared...Its only been two days and both Lavagirl and Sharkboy have done their share to make it a memorable start...Lavagirl doesnt like her change of enviroment, why I have no idea...Well maybe I could guess, because the new room isnt as cozy or interesting as her previous one and none of her previous classmates are there but, still it isnt that bad...At least it doesnt seem as bad for her to be screaming her lungs out like Banshee, clinging to me like I would be leaving her in a dark cave full of spiders...Nonetheless i already made moves for her to be changed to another room. I simply can not stand to hear days and days of crying and screaming and not wanting to go to school when before she was sooooo happy to be there.....Plus it remembers me of the Dark years of Sharkboys start at school...and I simply can not go through something similar again...
Meanwhile Sharkboy exploded yesterday afternoon at school...And what an explosion...He was crying histerical while the director and a teacher retold the events...He cursed, insulted, kicked, threathened to kill, offered things, made gestures so grave and insulting that one would wonder how, why...when everything seemed to be going ok, this happens...But the worst part isnt the outburst but the explanations or meanings that grown ups give to it...trying to find a source for the behavior, for the body language that it is clearly not natural but learned...
And I know from where he learned...After all this years I really thought that I was making a difference or that at least my teachings had reached but I have been blind...It is hard to learn something when the enviroment and those in it show you something else....All that cursing, anger, swearing has one source and as long we are all under the same roof, I guess Sharkboy will not be able to change.....Or at least understand that there are other ways to act and react...NO matter how much medication or therapies I may find and use they are completely useless..Guess that is why there are improvements but then the same problems come back... So maybe in the end some of the doc were rigth I really have not done enough...The most important part I have ommited, thinking I would fix it or simply by ignoring it would go away when in reality it is getting worst every day....Like being consumed by it little by little...